I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and there are so many demands from the society we have evolved with, leaving us with not a moment to breathe. I went to the car with my kids this weekend and I said “Oh my God guys, do you smell that? What’s that smell?!?” They responded “Fresh cut grass!” My children know that is my absolute favorite smell, ever since I was a little girl. It brings a feeling of newness, a feeling of being outside, clean air, playing, and just an ability to exhale and smile. Then I thought to myself - when was the last time I was outside and actually smelled that wonderful smell? I shrugged my shoulders, opened the car door, and realized it had probably been a few weeks as I started her up to drag the kids along to run MORE errands - AGAIN.
So here I am, rocking out in the car with the kids, and my brain is going a million miles an hour (as it always does) and I’m spiraling around all of these different tangents that won’t let me complete a thought. Happens all the time. If it doesn’t happen to you, you’re lying. A few of the running thoughts - I don’t spend enough time with my kids. I need to play outside with them more. How have I forgotten my favorite smell? I’m tired. Here we go with the mom guilt. How am I going to split myself enough to be a good mom, be happy, relax, work hard…speaking of working hard - how do these women do it? Jennifer Lopez is my idol because of how hard she works, she’s got her hands in everything and seems to get it all done. How can I do it like that too? Why are there not enough hours in the day? Maybe I should start yoga. Ok, Chas, another thing you will have to squeeze, rush to, rush from….and my brain just keeps going and going and going and going on like this. I know I’m not the only one.
Why are we like this? Why do we have so much trouble finding this beautiful, Libra-like, peaceful balance in our lives? We have to be athletic, yet graceful; busy so as to not be lazy, yet learn how to “relax” (geez I hate that word); scheduled, but not too scheduled; classy but not stuffy; cool but not too cool so you’re not seen as aloof and lazy. This is pure madness! As a busy wife, mother, and entrepreneur, I have come to this conclusion: there is no formula. There is no book, there is no nothing. We have to figure out what is important to us in our own lives, in our own regard, and make time for that. I can’t work 20hrs a day, or I can’t be with my kids. So that probably means I will never be the J.Lo of Long Island, and I’m okay with that. I don’t have time to go to the gym 6 days a week for 2hrs at a clip, so I will probably never look like the girl on a Nike ad. Not really ok with that, but I guess I have to be. I have clients, meetings, deadlines, installs, emails, invoicing, in-house maintenance. I have 2 children who require a lot of attention, I have baseball, softball, coaching my daughter’s team; I have birthday parties and play dates and sleepovers and I have dinner to cook and I forgot to take the meat out of the freezer - AGAIN! And I have to figure this crap out before I’m gray, losing hair, and wrinkled from all of the stress I have put on myself.
It’s all a WIP (work in progress) and it takes a long time to figure out. Our lives are ever-changing, we are constantly evolving and growing, and moving towards the next phase of our lives. And that’s great. I just want to let everyone know that you’re not alone, I’m not alone, and even though we FEEL like we are doing this all alone - we’re not. And we’re all working simultaneously on the same thing - together. So if you don’t have all of your sh*t together….don’t feel bad. Not many of us do. Just remember to take a minute to breathe, and enjoy the good that’s going on right here, right now. If you have an extra 20minutes before dinner is ready, play Tic Tac Toe with your kid. Or finish watching her favorite show with her. If you don’t have kids, flip through the magazine that’s been sitting on your counter that you haven’t had a chance to look at. I don’t know, I don’t have all of the answers. But what I do know is that aside from design, there’s a whole life out there waiting for me to grab on so many levels, including relishing in the laughter of my own family.
I read a quote the other day that my friend posted “Did you really have a bay? Or did you have a bad 5 minutes that you milked all day?” I’ve been thinking about that a lot as well. Life is too short to be so stressed. Let’s work together to try to let the small stuff go, and make time for all of what is important to us.
There. I did my non-design babble. Sometimes you just need to Life.